Life
Music, Depression, & Chat GPT
To paraphrase Rob from High Fidelity, do I listen to metalcore because I am miserable, or am I miserable because I listened to metalcore?
Anyway…
Beartooth’s song Sunshine is one of my favourite songs at the moment, big and heavy breakdowns, catchy sing-a-long parts, screams, and all that good metalcore stuff. Pretty confident I knew what the song was about: seasonal depression, feelings of hopelessness, and the want to escape it all.
I asked Chat GPT to interpret it and explain it to me.
…
These lyrics paint a picture of someone at an emotional and psychological breaking point, stuck in a cold, dark place (literally or metaphorically), and teetering on the edge of giving in or giving up. Let’s break it down:
Intro
Ah, I’m like actually losing my voice though
This sounds off-the-cuff and humanizing. It suggests exhaustion—physically and emotionally. Losing one’s voice can also be symbolic: losing the ability to express pain or even be heard.
Verse 1
Killing my time in the dark inside / It’s a race to death for me
This screams depression or a feeling of hopelessness. “Killing time” implies a lack of purpose, and “race to death” adds a morbid edge—suggesting life feels like a slow march toward inevitable doom.
Try and unwind while I lose my mind / I got no place to be
Apathy and chaos coexist. The speaker is trying to relax while internally spiraling—a common symptom of burnout or depression. “No place to be” emphasizes isolation and aimlessness.
Pre-Chorus
The cold winds blowing / The lights not showing
These are metaphors for emotional numbness and lack of direction. The speaker’s life feels bleak and without guidance.
Excuses piling up / I can’t keep running / The end is coming
They’re exhausted from avoiding reality or responsibilities. There’s a sense of inevitable collapse or confrontation ahead.
Chorus
Sunshine that would finally show / I might die if I stay in this cold
Craving warmth (hope, love, clarity). Staying in this emotional “cold” feels life-threatening—not literally, but mentally/emotionally.
I finally admit it, I gotta be committed / To let this story unfold
Admitting to needing help, perhaps even mental health support (“committed” is a loaded word here). They’re ready to face reality and stop hiding.
I hear angels calling my name and / I better listen before I implode
That line walks the tightrope between spiritual awakening and suicidal ideation. It’s ambiguous: are the “angels” salvation, or a euphemism for death?
I don’t care for a minute / If no one’s gonna get it / Let’s try selling our souls
This could be sarcastic resignation or a metaphor for doing whatever it takes to escape this hell—possibly even abandoning principles or sanity.
Verse 2
Living in filth, can’t look at myself / ‘Cause I know what I’m gonna see
Self-loathing, shame, and neglect. The speaker is disgusted with their state but too broken to fix it.
The spirit I lost, the years it cost / The reasons I’m scared to sleep
They’ve lost something essential—perhaps hope, faith, or motivation. Sleep becomes scary, possibly due to nightmares or because sleep = confrontation with one’s own mind.
Bridge
The end is coming (repeated)
It’s not just a cry of defeat—it’s a countdown. Something big is about to give, whether it’s a breakdown, breakthrough, or both.
Overall Interpretation
This song is a raw cry for help. It’s about someone grappling with intense inner demons—depression, existential dread, burnout—and maybe flirting with self-destruction. But under the weight of all that pain, there’s a sliver of resolve: the urge to finally do something, even if it means drastic change or breaking every rule they lived by.
The “sunshine” they crave isn’t just weather—it’s relief, purpose, and self-acceptance. The idea of “selling our souls” might be cynical, but it’s also desperate: the speaker is ready to sacrifice anything to feel alive again.
It’s heavy stuff—but relatable to anyone who’s ever stared into their own abyss and said, “I can’t keep doing this.”
Not waiting to find out what the final outcome is for Pocket, despite it having a couple of promising suitors, I’m moving to Raindrop.io for my read later and bookmark saving needs. At the moment the bookmarking on micro.blog doesn’t suit my workflow.
⚽️ With the Premier League season now closed, and Arsenal falling frustratingly short again, I should probably stop my Optus Sport subscription until the new season starts up in August. It’s only $75 saved, better in my bank though…
With about 20mm of rain since midnight, and how leaky the roof has been the last couple of months, I’m afraid of what I’ll find when I head down to the sports club later this morning.
Hopefully this forecast of 200mm over the next 4 days is wildly inaccurate!
🔗 Dylan Graves Surfed One of Australia’s Rarest Novelty Waves
The wave only breaks a few times a decade — when the swell direction, tide, and wind all align — and this was one of those magic days! At a spot I’ve always wanted to go!
Back in the 90’s I was lucky enough to surf Newcastle Harbour a bunch of times. You really don’t want to hit the bottom! 🤕
The rain continues to fall here in Newcastle. 30mm in the last 24 hours, that’s on top of all the rain we’ve had since mid-March. I’d guess we’ve had 1000mm fall across that period, April had >640mm alone.
No chance we’re playing football this weekend. That’ll be 6 rounds washed out so far! 🤯
We’re had so much rain this year. April was super wet, we had around 620mm of rain across the month. With the constant wet and humid conditions, mushrooms and other fungi have been popping up all over the place.
Always dropping my glasses!
I bought new prescription glasses a month or so ago, normally I get whatever Specsavers have the 2 for $199 deal on, but this time I splurged and bought 2 pairs of Rayban’s that ended up costing me $800+ after the private health rebate.
They’re comfortable to wear, they suit my face, I think they look pretty good…but they have got to be the worst glasses I’ve ever bought as every day I have to re-tighten the screws.
As I don’t need to wear them full time, only for reading, I often hang them on my shirt, but due to the arms needing to be tightened every day they pretty much fall off onto the floor whenever I bend over to pick something up, leading to them getting scratched up.
I think I’m going to have to get some of those lame glasses straps for them, like those neoprene ones surfers wore in the 80’s, or the beaded ones that the nosey receptionist from various 80’s and 90’s movies…not sure if I’m ready for that look yet. 😝
Out on water near Bolton Point, looking north toward Warners Bay. Not a fish to be found, at least the view was good.
Heading up the Hunter River toward the Stockton Bridge.
I think I maybe expect too much from other people. Hard not to when you both signed up to and agreed upon the same narrative. Frustrating.
I am very unsure about a whole raft of things going on in the world at the moment, not just the whole world, but also my own world. Challenges all around, some people are rising to the battle, others just tossing the towel in.
Where to next, who knows…
Hello Monday, what have you got in store for me?
Interesting couple of days at the Sports Club. The President resigned, the Board accepted it, I was nominated as the new President, I accepted. So yeh, I’m the President of Alder Park Sports Club now. 🤯
⛳️ Played Waratah Golf Course this morning with Travis. Struck the ball reasonably well, and finished under my handicap, but felt like I should’ve done better…those double bogies really stung!
⚽️ My football year pretty much starts today, we’ve got a preseason meeting with the parents and players tonight online, all the teams are back training this week, so I probably need to start giving it some attention. Feels like it gets earlier and earlier each year.
⛳️ Playing my first simulator golf tour tournament(s) today, one that mirrors the PGA event at Waialae in Hawaii, the other a Par 3 tournament in Indiana. Should be fun, or at least interesting!
🗑️ Today I am deleting my Facebook account that I haven’t used in a couple of years, I’ve only accessed Messenger and Instagram in that time.
I will open a new, very minimal, account so I can continue on in my roles for the football club. It won’t have any personal info on it.
Spending the morning listening to new-to-me bands while I’m writing up notes for the meetings I have later today and tomorrow. So far I’ve added Memphis May Fire, We Came As Romans, and In Hearts Wake, all three have elements similar to The Amity Affliction who are an all time favourite. 🤘
Our new lounge arrives today! We bought the Bangalow Modular Sofa 6-seater chaise in Green Wattle, the Black Friday sales knocked over $1,000.00 off the price. Just hoping the rain stops when the courier gets here!
Just spent a couple of hours taking stock of the subscriptions we have for streaming services, web services, and a bunch of apps, then roughly worked out the value / use we get out of them…and then promptly killed off 8 subs, saving $800+ a year. What the actual! 🤯
🏋️♂️ First session of the year with the Exercise Physiologist went well, set new targets for the year with an eye on improving my golf game, particularly core strength and recovery aspects. Felt good and strong during the workout, off to a solid start!
Have been fairly busy today, just ticking off chores around the house and yard, trying to keep the momentum going.
⛳️ Made some minor tweaks to my golf simulator setup and it’s now the launch monitor is working way more accurately…so much so that my handicap well and truly comes into play.