Mathew Packer

To paraphrase Rob from High Fidelity, do I listen to metalcore because I am miserable, or am I miserable because I listened to metalcore?

Anyway…

Beartooth’s song Sunshine is one of my favourite songs at the moment, big and heavy breakdowns, catchy sing-a-long parts, screams, and all that good metalcore stuff. Pretty confident I knew what the song was about: seasonal depression, feelings of hopelessness, and the want to escape it all.

I asked Chat GPT to interpret it and explain it to me.

…

These lyrics paint a picture of someone at an emotional and psychological breaking point, stuck in a cold, dark place (literally or metaphorically), and teetering on the edge of giving in or giving up. Let’s break it down:

Intro

Ah, I’m like actually losing my voice though

This sounds off-the-cuff and humanizing. It suggests exhaustion—physically and emotionally. Losing one’s voice can also be symbolic: losing the ability to express pain or even be heard.

Verse 1

Killing my time in the dark inside / It’s a race to death for me

This screams depression or a feeling of hopelessness. “Killing time” implies a lack of purpose, and “race to death” adds a morbid edge—suggesting life feels like a slow march toward inevitable doom.

Try and unwind while I lose my mind / I got no place to be

Apathy and chaos coexist. The speaker is trying to relax while internally spiraling—a common symptom of burnout or depression. “No place to be” emphasizes isolation and aimlessness.

Pre-Chorus

The cold winds blowing / The lights not showing

These are metaphors for emotional numbness and lack of direction. The speaker’s life feels bleak and without guidance.

Excuses piling up / I can’t keep running / The end is coming

They’re exhausted from avoiding reality or responsibilities. There’s a sense of inevitable collapse or confrontation ahead.

Chorus

Sunshine that would finally show / I might die if I stay in this cold

Craving warmth (hope, love, clarity). Staying in this emotional “cold” feels life-threatening—not literally, but mentally/emotionally.

I finally admit it, I gotta be committed / To let this story unfold

Admitting to needing help, perhaps even mental health support (“committed” is a loaded word here). They’re ready to face reality and stop hiding.

I hear angels calling my name and / I better listen before I implode

That line walks the tightrope between spiritual awakening and suicidal ideation. It’s ambiguous: are the “angels” salvation, or a euphemism for death?

I don’t care for a minute / If no one’s gonna get it / Let’s try selling our souls

This could be sarcastic resignation or a metaphor for doing whatever it takes to escape this hell—possibly even abandoning principles or sanity.

Verse 2

Living in filth, can’t look at myself / ‘Cause I know what I’m gonna see

Self-loathing, shame, and neglect. The speaker is disgusted with their state but too broken to fix it.

The spirit I lost, the years it cost / The reasons I’m scared to sleep

They’ve lost something essential—perhaps hope, faith, or motivation. Sleep becomes scary, possibly due to nightmares or because sleep = confrontation with one’s own mind.

Bridge

The end is coming (repeated)

It’s not just a cry of defeat—it’s a countdown. Something big is about to give, whether it’s a breakdown, breakthrough, or both.

Overall Interpretation

This song is a raw cry for help. It’s about someone grappling with intense inner demons—depression, existential dread, burnout—and maybe flirting with self-destruction. But under the weight of all that pain, there’s a sliver of resolve: the urge to finally do something, even if it means drastic change or breaking every rule they lived by.

The “sunshine” they crave isn’t just weather—it’s relief, purpose, and self-acceptance. The idea of “selling our souls” might be cynical, but it’s also desperate: the speaker is ready to sacrifice anything to feel alive again.

It’s heavy stuff—but relatable to anyone who’s ever stared into their own abyss and said, “I can’t keep doing this.”

Not waiting to find out what the final outcome is for Pocket, despite it having a couple of promising suitors, I’m moving to Raindrop.io for my read later and bookmark saving needs. At the moment the bookmarking on micro.blog doesn’t suit my workflow.

⚽️ With the Premier League season now closed, and Arsenal falling frustratingly short again, I should probably stop my Optus Sport subscription until the new season starts up in August. It’s only $75 saved, better in my bank though…

With about 20mm of rain since midnight, and how leaky the roof has been the last couple of months, I’m afraid of what I’ll find when I head down to the sports club later this morning.

Hopefully this forecast of 200mm over the next 4 days is wildly inaccurate!

🔗 Dylan Graves Surfed One of Australia’s Rarest Novelty Waves

The wave only breaks a few times a decade — when the swell direction, tide, and wind all align — and this was one of those magic days! At a spot I’ve always wanted to go!

Back in the 90’s I was lucky enough to surf Newcastle Harbour a bunch of times. You really don’t want to hit the bottom! 🤕

The rain continues to fall here in Newcastle. 30mm in the last 24 hours, that’s on top of all the rain we’ve had since mid-March. I’d guess we’ve had 1000mm fall across that period, April had >640mm alone.

No chance we’re playing football this weekend. That’ll be 6 rounds washed out so far! 🤯

We’re had so much rain this year. April was super wet, we had around 620mm of rain across the month. With the constant wet and humid conditions, mushrooms and other fungi have been popping up all over the place.